You Might NOT Be An Astronomer If You Think That...
George Murphy
AURORA BOREALIS
is an exotic dancer in Nome, Alaska
LIGHT POLLUTION
is a few beer cans in the yard.
an UMBRA
is something you need during a rain shower.
PLUTO
is Mickey's sidekick
HYPERED FILM
is when you really need to brush your
teeth.
NORTHERN LIGHTS
is a brand of a mentholated, low
nicotine cigarette.
PERIHELION
is a guy who sang "That's Amore" in the
1950s.
SOLAR CORONA
is warm Mexican beer.
BETELGEUSE
is the stuff you squeegee off the windshield
of your car.
an OFF AXIS GUIDER
is a persistent backseat driver.
a MAKSUTOV
is a wine bottle filled with gasoline and
thrown at tanks.
a STAR PARTY
is a Hollywood bash.
SCHMIDT-CASSEGRAIN
is a German meal made with
rice.
REFRACTOR
is when Vito breaks your leg for the second
time.
ZODIACAL LIGHT
is a low alcohol beer.
a STAR CHART
predicts the future.
a GASEOUS PROMINENCE
is Newt Gingrich.
a PENUMBRA
is something you need during a rain shower
or when you need to write a note.
the PHOTOSPHERE
is a snapshot of a beachball.
an ASTRONOMICAL UNIT
refers to the cost of an Air
Force toilet.
a GRAVITATIONAL LENS
is the new contact your kid
drops through an open grate.
URANUS
is an anatomical feature rather than a planet.
CLOCK DRIVE
refers to the street beneath Big Ben.
a NEUTRON
is a fig cookie.
a LIGHT YEAR
is a period of time when you don't have
enough cash.
a BLACK HOLE
is that sump in your basement.
SOLAR WIND
is what your fat uncle had after
Thanksgiving dinner.
