Traveling the Universe? Consider this: Your Starship Captain Might Be a Redneck If...

  • Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month.
  • He paints flames and places an NRA sticker on the warp nacelles.
  • You have a shuttlecraft named "Billy Joe Bob".
  • He refers to Klingons as "Critters".
  • He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns".
  • He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil.
  • He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section.
  • Instead of saying "Open hailing frequencies", he says "Got your ears on, good buddy?"
  • He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen.
  • He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle.
  • He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it.
  • He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage".
  • He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser.
  • He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba".
  • He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster".
  • He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens.
  • He paints the starship John Deere green.
  • He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special".
  • He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp".
  • His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale.
  • He sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen".
  • His idea of a dress uniform is clean bib overalls.
  • He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge.
  • His idea of a gas giant is "that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans and weenies".
  • He sets the phaser to "Cajun".